The way I see it, most people go through life just wanting to be loved. To be noticed in some way and cared for. We fill this need in the most crazy ways imaginable. Some seek it through power and money. If I can only make a name for myself. If I can buy anything I want. I will be important, people will notice me, people will love me, or at least respect me, which is a form of love is it not? And this is where people get caught up in materialism and greed and suddenly nothing is enough because it is not a lasting kind of fulfillment.
Then there are those in survival mode. Who are just living day to day. How will I pay rent, will I have enough money for food? And in the midst of the daily problems, they find themselves feeling, if only there was some escape. If only someone would notice me and want me, someone to take care of me for a change. And this is where one can get desperate for attention, giving pieces of themselves away to people who don’t deserve it. Hoping that there is something or someone who can take them away from their problems, their pain, their fears. But again, many put their trust in the wrong things, and none of it brings lasting fulfillment. Their may be short relief. But somehow, it is still not enough.
As normal as it is now to be here, it still breaks my heart. These women, these precious women, just trying to figure out who they are in a world that is constantly trying to twist them into something they were never meant to be. Even as they seek God, there is so much they must throw off, so much that hinders.
Don’t ever forget how blessed you are, those of you who are brought up in a place where you are valued as a person, as a true person, to be cherished and protected. We forget that not everyone gets that luxury.
Some believe and are taught they are only worth what they can sell themselves for, and they hope and hope that one of these men will want to keep them.
And one day, when they have had enough, and no longer want to sell their bodies, because they know, it is killing them. They stop. But they still have a hard time finding value, they still want that man to rescue them, so they give it away for free, just hoping, still hoping, for rescue.
Because they have had a lifetime of mistreatment, a lifetime of confusion, and struggle, and it takes time, sometimes it just takes time, to realize how easy it is to take on a new identity, as a child of God, fully restored, fully cared for…
Last week I had the privilege of visiting a woman who used to work at NightLight. I would like to say it was by random chance that we all ended up in the same place on our few day holiday, but I am sure it was God appointed. When they found out we were going to be in the same town as them, they invited us over.
We showed up not entirely sure what was going to happen, just that we wanted to be a blessing. We were not expecting such a nice house.
“Who’s house is this?” I asked.
“It is her boyfriend’s house”
Of course, her foreign boyfriend. The reason she left NightLight, the one that treats her like crap.
Security can be an dangerous thing. The kind that is not rooted in Christ anyway. Like I said, we just want to be loved, we just want to be taken care of…
And when you have a child, and boy does she have a beautiful child, well, he needs to be taken care of too. And here is this person who will do that for you. So you let him, you let him take care of you and your child and you let him treat you like crap too. Besides, it is every young Thai girl’s dream to have a foreign man as a boyfriend…
So after she offers us every drink and piece of food she has in the house someone suggests, “Let’s sing some worship.”
So we gather outside and bring the guitar and just sing to God. When you don’t quite know what to do, singing to God is not bad place to begin.
And of course we begin to feel God’s presence in a powerful way, and we begin to pray and as I am praying and I put my hands on her, she begins to cry. Not just crying, but sobbing. I know she feels something she has not felt in a very long time. A different kind of love, one that she longs for but does not quite know how to hold on to.
I would like to say she made a decision right at that point to leave it all behind and come back. Come back to her loving NightLight family that will build her up in Christ. But she didn’t, because sometimes, it just takes time.
But I know, that she knows we are here, waiting for her when it all falls apart.
There is hope, there is always hope.