Im sitting on the plane right now thinking back on my last week, so many good moments leading up to my departure. Sitting on the upstairs patio by a fire pit at Cabo Grill looking over downtown Oceanside. Sometimes you forget how lucky you are to love in a beach town. Seeing my best fried perform, living in his element and calling in life. I love watching people live out their passion. Hearing from the two girls I mentor how encouraged and inspired they are after talking with a peer who is souled out for God knowing that this was exactly what I was praying for. My God is a good God. Swimming in the ocean with those same girls hearing one of them talk about how jumping in the waves feels like playing with God. It does. Taking a late night walk down the Oceanside pier with a good friend caught up in good discussion about God, the church, and marveling at whatever God has in store for us. Who the heck knows right? I will miss it all, I will miss you all.
A few hours ago I was saying good bye to my parents as we stood by the area in the airport where you had to have a boarding pass to enter. It was then that I began to feel more deeply everything that I was giving up to go on this new adventure. But as tears began to stream down my face in sadness over everything I was giving up and was going to miss I also felt so incredibly grateful for all the things God has blessed me with that I have the privilege to miss.
This past week, mornings have been the hardest. First of all, I am not a morning person, It takes me a good couple of hours after I wake before you can safely talk to me. In addition, for some reason all of my anxieties try to attack me in the morning. It normally takes a good session with God to get me back in right mind again. So on the week before leaving, the morning anxiety was ever present. I went to bed last night expecting to wake up in pure panic. But right before I woke up I had an incredible dream. I was a some sort of party and a swing dance contest started up. Already on a dancing high, I asked this gentleman who happened to be sitting right next to me if he wanted to join in on the contest with me. We get up and just kill it on the dance floor twirling about working in perfect sync with one another. He threw me up and around in every direction, as swing dancers are known to do, and I was absolutely giddy. The song ended and we were announced as the winners of the contest because we were clearly the best. We just kept laughing and found our seats again, still high and out of breath from the experience. And then I woke up… with same feeling of giddiness… and no panic at all.
If you know me at all you know how I feel about dancing. I believe it is magical… for real. Now don’t get me wrong, I have no dance training or experience at all and am not even particularly good at it. But I LOVE to dance. Its like medicine, it just makes things better. When I get in a bad mood I turn on a good song and I dance, sometimes all by myself in my room. Call me a dork if you want to, I’m ok with that.
Last New Years Eve I had the privilege of going with my roommate to a swing ball. Now this girl has grown up swing dancing and I have tried it maybe once before in my life. She assured me, however, that in swing dancing, all you need is a good lead and a knowledge of the basic step and you’re good to go. And although I was still pretty unsure about that theory I tried it out. And boy was she incredibly right. If you have not tried this girls you need to. All one has to do is follow. The guy has the hard part, he is the one thinking ahead planning out the next steps. He simply leads you along with him. And its so much fun once you get over the anxiety that you have no idea what you are doing.
A few days later in the middle of a quiet time I had a realization that that experience with dancing is a lot like our relationship with God. I mean, he takes the lead right and all we have to do it follow. He’s got the hard part, we have the fun part. Sure we get to put in our own God given creativity, as long as we continue to follow alongside his lead. If you try to take control, though, you mess up the whole dance, I can’t imagine if I would have told my partner that I would take the lead, I had no idea what I was doing, I would have messed up the whole thing, I would have stepped all over his feet. But if you relinquish control and just pay attention to him, you get an incredible dance.
I think God wanted me to remember that this morning. How much fun it is to dance with Him.